"Built like a brick wall on roids." That's the passive ability Lee Sin—err, Xizun, the blind monk, used to have in League of Legends, which itself used to be a very different-looking game called Onslaught: War of the Immortals. It certainly looks like a game that was pitched the same year Finger Eleven's "Paralyzer" was a charting single, and now we can take a closer look at it than ever thanks to League 'tuber Necrit and Riot's Paul "Pabro" Bellezza.

The full story here is outlined on a video Necrit uploaded last Thursday, but the basic rundown is that he asked to see League at its most primordial and Riot delivered in the form of an ancient investor pitch: a mix of video footage, design documents for a few champions, a lore breakdown, and screenshots. While leaks had revealed some of this stuff in the past, there's plenty of new details to comb through.

The game is barely recognizable. Rather than the empty field that is Summoner's Rift, it takes place in a cartoony cityscape split between "order" and "chaos" realms. Players would take the role of customizable immortals they could temporarily bring to the fight in climactic moments, and certain heroes were even exclusive to one of the two realms—an allegiance players would have to declare when they began playing.

It's easier to point out what's familiar than what's new. Annie is here and still has a flaming teddy bear minion, though she and most other champions look very different; Sion has a beard, for God's sake! The only character who truly hasn't changed much is Singed, though his name is Zij for some reason. These days I only call him that if I have a really bad cold.

My favorite bits are about the old lore, since it's edgy in a way that's both typical of the era and sort of precious in 2026, despite the cartoony art style. It's a world where the two factions existed on neutral terms until "an antichrirst of sorts" was born and tore a hole in reality so big chaos now threatens to consume all existence. Riot's logo is also drenched in blood in the pitch video.

League of Legends Classic has been a big hit with me so far, but I think after seeing this it's plain to see we didn't go back far enough. We have not achieved true classic-ification until Sion has a highlighter-orange beard and nobody recognizes a single aspect of the game.